I forgot what I wanted to say...

That's it. Had a blogworthy thought.. opened up blog...

entered admin area, bro walked passed and said, "Pass me your handphone..." Me, digs out hp and pass it to him.

Turned around back and stared at my laptop.. shit.. i forgot what I wanted to say. I hate this. I hate interrupted thought. >.< Gimme five minutes. I have to ponder...

1258am...

ah huh!

1259am...

took me only a minute. WAHAHAHA...

What I wanted to say was... rewind and pretend that blog entry starts here.

Title: Dog Lovers

I used to have this weird concept. Dog lovers and animal lovers are trustworthy people. Don't ask me why I have such a weird idea. I just do. I tend to trust people who love their pets, and no, I am not referring to those who think of their dogs as guard dogs, and throws them scraps to eat, so that they're always hungry, and can "guard" the house better as they're more aggressive that way.

I mean... in general, people who like animals. I mean, if you have the heart, the capacity to love animals, how bad a human being can you be right?

WRONG! *insert wrong beep sound*

People can be evil, even as they love their pets to death. (no pun intended) I thought about this for a while, mind you, this is not a very thoughtworthy thought, so no point thinking it to death.

Someone told me... "It could be that the owner and his/her pet has "shan4 yuan2" (ie. good karma with each other, a legacy from previous lives etc), so they love each other to bits. But you have "er4 yuan2" (bad karma) with this person, and so, your relationship and conflicts with this person will arise."

Makes sense. Don't know why I used to have this all encompassing generalisation. Thus, from now on, I shall not judge a person based on how much he/she loves his pet/animals in general.

Next on the agenda:

Went to hairdresser today. My hair is SUPER short! If you thought my previous hair was short.. trust me... this is the shortest.. I think in my entire life." My lil bro who came back from his cheap malay barber has like.. about the same length of hair as me. As the stylist told me, "You MUST style your hair. If not, it won't look good."

After my shower, where I washed off the wax/gel/spray he had in my hair.. he is soo right about the not looking good without styling part, I could puke. Damn.. does this mean I have to style my hair, even when I am just going out in the middle of the night, for a walk with my dog, as I am apt to do?

===========================================

bah...

if looks could kill.. a lot of pple would be dead

if thoughts could kill.. lagi more pple would be dead...

unfortunately... none kills. so.. a lot of undeserving asshoic...err... assholes still exist in this world.

whatever happened to retribution?

Try to be nice, and get slapped in the face. BAH!

I want to kill... >.<

Do I have anything to say?

having said that... do i have anything to say?

nothing.. of real substance actually.

Did anything happen that was exciting or fun, these past few days? There're some blogworthy incidences.. but scars from previous blogs where... not everything can be posted up on a blog.. has taught me my lesson.

Alright.. have I more or less exhausted the list of things that I can blog about? pretty much so. What about a change in POV? Like, blog from sapphi's perspective? No can do. She's just as bored as I am.

Oh.. one more thing.. that's been in my mind. I am scared of petty pple. I am scared of conniving pple. I am scared of scheming pple. I wish I was not, but I really am. When I meet people like that, I freak out. I try my best not to offend them. This is a really cowardly way.. but I know no other. I am scared of them because, you never know what they can do to you. You never know, and that is the scariest part.

As the chinese idiom says "fang2 bu2 sheng4 fang2"

gee... this is what comes out of trying to spin out a constipated blog entry...

Countdown

OK... it may be too early to countdown.. but I dun care! I'm gonna start! wahahah.. THE MOST IMPORTANT.. MOST MAJOR...

COUNTDOWN TO CHINA TRIP!
wahahah.. excited... let's see... about 2 more weeks!! Weeee.....

lalalalalalallala sings song like stupid smurfs...

PS. Pardon me, just indulged in Ben and Jerry's SUPER CHOCOLATEY ice-cream.. am a bit high to say the least.

But.. that would mean.. 2 more weeks till my projects are due. I am flying off on the 7th, and projects are due on the 8th. That would mean... I have to hand them in on the 5th. (that's a friday by the way.)

Soo.... I have like... 12 days. 12 days to cough out my projects, and a presentation on the 1st Nov, that's a Monday, 7 days away. Another presentation this coming Tuesday. So.. gonna be BUSY. And... I am gonna get my ass on it. start work. STOP PROCRASTINATION...

Right.. after.. the Man U vs Arsenal clash tonight. there's more ice-cream. movenpick, there's beer, and there's red wine. Wahahaha... Last night of rest. tmr I am gonna CHIONG. Even if it means having to haul my ass to a library so that I am FORCED to work instead of lazing around at home.

15 more minutes. gonna take a shower.. so that I am nice and fresh for the match.

OH>>> And I finally went and got myself a fan for my room. so that STUPID female mosquitoes can stop biting me. I have soooo many bites on my feet and leg, that I feel murdurous towards them. And.. I have already brought Sapphi for her walk.. so she cannot disturb me during the match.

Everything's falling into place. Now to secure a job... come come.... lai ba... lai ba...

I need to go on a vacation...

I have realised hat half of my friends are all away.. on vacations, working trips, and what not.

Let's see...

1) Ms M has an oustation posting in Thailand, for a year. Bah.. and she's my friday dinner, go play arcade, then pool/movie buddy.

2) Mr DG went to Taiwan for work... I wanna go too, just cuz I see it on TV so frequently!

3) Bunch of ex colleagues, (v close friends of mine, I may add) went to Malaysia for friend's wedding. Which I would go too.. except, I can't, cuz my grandma passed away earlier this year, and being superstitious pple, I cannot attend weddings till after the Chinese New Year.

4) Let's see... Beck's in Japan.. wahh.. I wanna go Japan too!!!

Nvm... guess what?! GUESS WHAT?!

my mother... is sponsoring me to join her and my cousins on a CHINA trip! Yes.. I know.. not my first time there.. think I've been there like 2/3 times.. but always on work... and I never got to really walk around like an idiotic tourist! I cannot wait...

First I will have to finish my school projects ahead of time, as I am flying off on the 7th...

I.... I'm leaving on a jet plane...

My break.. my long awaited vacation... here I come... now if only my projects will miraculously get done, I get a job... and my life would be complete.

Mebbe.. just also that my freelance money comes in, and my ex company pays up the salary and cpf owed to me.

ahh... then my life would have attained equilibrium again...

come good karma.. come... I am waiting.

I have stumbled upon the truth!

Yes... I have!!!

As you all know... jobless ol' me been full of negative energy of late right? I mean.. what's new?!

As I was getting ready to do another super negative blog.. you know.. which includes me cursing at a particular project mate who has the audacity to have to be paired up with me... hahaha.. all his fault naturally... I stumbled upon the truth...

THE EVILNESS IN THE WORLD TODAY IS CAUSED BY...

THE GODDESS OF SIANDOM!

- in simpler english terms, it's called boredom.

Yes... I am serious.

Imagine.. I have been like....

walking around the house.. wondering about life.. you know the works

watching too much tv... blogging too much (alright.. at least i didn't blog too many times in a day.. more like.. I dun know what to say, not that i dun want to blog)... doing nothing about my projects which are all due. You would think that I would at least try to do well in my studies now that I am jobless right? Haha..

Then I suddenly got to thinking...

All those people who have been causing so much trouble in the world... could be bored and frustrated. And irritable. Right? Sounds familiar? YES! What they need is a stable economy. What they need is Purpose in life. As my sister told me today... "Don't wake up so late... set goals in life... you need to have a purpose in life. Or you will feel bad everyday."

Naturally. I know that mine's just a temporary problem. Why, I just managed to finally get an errant co to pay me for my freelance work... done MONTHS ago.

But what about those people who live in war torn countries, or what about those who live in countries where their economy is shit... non-existent.. or controlled by gangsters known as the bush administration... Stupider bunch of idiots I have not seen. Bah... stupid sheep... I totally cannot believe that in a country as big as the US, there're more idiots than smart pple. I dun like Kerry, But I DETEST Bush. I am blessed that I was not born in that accursed country. Dun tell me, "hey, then you can vote against bush!" that is not the point. Being of the same nationality is an insult to my intelligence. Having him is a leader is an even greater insult.

I digress.

The pple... the terrorists... Can you imagine their lives? I mean... what is the point in waking up each morning? I am totally anti-war. But just think... if you push a person too far, aren't you just asking for it when that person goes, "enough is enough"? To them, there may only be two options

1) I am going to do something about it, or die trying.

2) I am going to waste my life away, watching infidels push my country into greater distress, and pray that some hero is going to come and put an end to it?

It is true that the civilians suffer, the country's economy. But... if left alone, would it be any different?

I've been to some muslim states, for work... and... people... they're just standing around, chattng, and smoking... (lots of smoking.. god i hate it!) and after my work is done, etc. these same people, they're still there. And I wondered to myself then, "don't they have some work to do? to feed themselves? something to do, some errand to run?"

Now I think back, but what if, there's nothing for them to do? Everything they do, they're paid pittance for backbreaking work. Standing around, or working, maybe there's just a thin line that separates the two, so thin, that it's not worth working for.

Gosh,.. this is crap blog. as usual. But the point I am trying to make, is that... everyone should be given the chance to pursue their dreams or to have goal to work towards. Without purpose in life, life's meaningless. Then what? What comes next? And people WITH dreams deserve the chance for a shot at it. It doesn't matter if they succeed of fail, the point is that ... chances should be there. But not everyone has it...

=============

Aside: Listening to Seven Dust now. I love them... Soooolidd.....

 

Call me the Goddess of Sian-ness

SIAN ARH!
My life is so boring... and mundane... and SIAN...

if sian-ness can take on a life of its own, it would be a monster, with fangs that dripped venom which is even more poisonous than that of Alien... (and no, I am not referring to the Alien in that crap Alien vs Predator movie, but the Real Alien)

It would be darkness itself, slinking around in the depths of your mind, your brain, your soul. Slithering around, leaving its trail of slime in your entrails, creeping around, sucking up all happiness within you. As you feel your life's energy ebbing lower and lower, you sink into a surreal dreamlike quality. The world takes on a haziness, not unlike that of the haze caused by the Sumatran forest fires. You wander around your home like a zombie, wondering about what you're doing with your life, and what the hell you're doing wandering around your home like a zombie.

The thought process gets jammed, coherent, logical thought is lost... all that comes into your mind is the eternal burning question, what am I doing with my life. And there is no answer to that. For that is a philosopical thought or question for people who are smart. Others like me, plagued by the god of sianness are incapable and unable to figure out the answer to that.

People who can, are in denial. For, life is many things. and life should be bigger than that. but dreams are even bigger than life. so as you sink into the afternoon heat, asking yourself "what am I doing with my life", the question remains unanswered, and another question comes to mind, "what am I doing with my dreams?" and you remain stuck. For, if you don't even know what to do with your life, then what can you do about your dreams?

as the sun sinks, you sink even lower into the sofa, for a brief moment, as the air cools down, and the lights dim, you realise, that nothing has been accomplished for the day. Time spent pondering life's question for which there is no answer, comes back to haunt you. As your mind sobers up at the reality of a wasted day, you wonder at the power of the God of Siandom.

For worshipping the God of Siandom is nothing. There is no pride in that... Sianness is for the incapable. The Capable work and slave. Bored and blind worshippers of the God of Sianness are incapable. For they stay at home, and allow their brains to rot.. within the filth that it was born in. Even as this blog gets written, the brain is melting, into an oozing black oil-like mush, slithering into the recesses of the head, infecting all that it touches.

Slowly, with the rotting of the brain, vision is lost, and your eyes will sink into its cavity, leaving a hollow where your eyes once were. your blood slowly gets polluted and turns black, your skin gets infected... pus starts to ooze out, from all small little wounds. Touching it only serves to turn your flesh into congealed mess.

You lie down on your bed in horror, for all strength is lost. And, your head sinks into your pillow, and flesh sticks onto the bedsheets. you realised, that your soul is lost in a nightmarish world, where everyone works and has a purpose in life. they slave away in their own world, and on and on they work. As you give out a soundless scream, crying out for your purpose in life in that world where the sun shines, you realise, that you have been forgotten, as you cry for the death of yourself in your bed. Nobody knows, nor care. You realise... the world is lost to you. And all hope is lost. Death creeps up on you, and his cold touch brings about a sense of release... from the callous world you were in. Devoid of warmth, you welcome this new unthinking world, where there is no thought, a vacuum, where pple sit around tweedling their thumbs... yah right.

END!

I think I should name this eulogy of a dying non-worker. Somebody save me from boredom! I would rather be an idiot and working at something then an idiot sitting at home allowing brain rot while I watch program after program.

wahaha.. but still.. mebbe this has the makings for a horror show! wahahaha...

Call me the Goddess of Sian-ness

SIAN ARH!
My life is so boring... and mundane... and SIAN...

if sian-ness can take on a life of its own, it would be a monster, with fangs that dripped venom which is even more poisonous than that of Alien... (and no, I am not referring to the Alien in that crap Alien vs Predator movie, but the Real Alien)

It would be darkness itself, slinking around in the depths of your mind, your brain, your soul. Slithering around, leaving its trail of slime in your entrails, creeping around, sucking up all happiness within you. As you feel your life's energy ebbing lower and lower, you sink into a surreal dreamlike quality. The world takes on a haziness, not unlike that of the haze caused by the Sumatran forest fires. You wander around your home like a zombie, wondering about what you're doing with your life, and what the hell you're doing wandering around your home like a zombie.

The thought process gets jammed, coherent, logical thought is lost... all that comes into your mind is the eternal burning question, what am I doing with my life. And there is no answer to that. For that is a philosopical thought or question for people who are smart. Others like me, plagued by the god of sianness are incapable and unable to figure out the answer to that.

People who can, are in denial. For, life is many things. and life should be bigger than that. but dreams are even bigger than life. so as you sink into the afternoon heat, asking yourself "what am I doing with my life", the question remains unanswered, and another question comes to mind, "what am I doing with my dreams?" and you remain stuck. For, if you don't even know what to do with your life, then what can you do about your dreams?

as the sun sinks, you sink even lower into the sofa, for a brief moment, as the air cools down, and the lights dim, you realise, that nothing has been accomplished for the day. Time spent pondering life's question for which there is no answer, comes back to haunt you. As your mind sobers up at the reality of a wasted day, you wonder at the power of the God of Siandom.

For worshipping the God of Siandom is nothing. There is no pride in that... Sianness is for the incapable. The Capable work and slave. Bored and blind worshippers of the God of Sianness are incapable. For they stay at home, and allow their brains to rot.. within the filth that it was born in. Even as this blog gets written, the brain is melting, into an oozing black oil-like mush, slithering into the recesses of the head, infecting all that it touches.

Slowly, with the rotting of the brain, vision is lost, and your eyes will sink into its cavity, leaving a hollow where your eyes once were. your blood slowly gets polluted and turns black, your skin gets infected... pus starts to ooze out, from all small little wounds. Touching it only serves to turn your flesh into congealed mess.

You lie down on your bed in horror, for all strength is lost. And, your head sinks into your pillow, and flesh sticks onto the bedsheets. you realised, that your soul is lost in a nightmarish world, where everyone works and has a purpose in life. they slave away in their own world, and on and on they work. As you give out a soundless scream, crying out for your purpose in life in that world where the sun shines, you realise, that you have been forgotten, as you cry for the death of yourself in your bed. Nobody knows, nor care. You realise... the world is lost to you. And all hope is lost. Death creeps up on you, and his cold touch brings about a sense of release... from the callous world you were in. Devoid of warmth, you welcome this new unthinking world, where there is no thought, a vacuum, where pple sit around tweedling their thumbs... yah right.

END!

I think I should name this eulogy of a dying non-worker. Somebody save me from boredom! I would rather be an idiot and working at something then an idiot sitting at home allowing brain rot while I watch program after program.

wahaha.. but still.. mebbe this has the makings for a horror show! wahahaha...

naruto on tv

okok.

i am like a tv junkie now. sitting in the living room, pretending to do my project work. and watching tv at the same time.

there's naruto on tv! dubbed... yucks.... and no dual language to select from. a bit sian. wahaha.. but it is still v funny. at least i get to watch it on the the big screen. which reminds me.. i still have shaman king to watch. hahaha.. part 2 of the dvd set. that should be cool. mebbe later in the week. today's monday right? ah well...

supposed to go for dinner with my hall mates.. but aww... quite broke. still deciding.. mebbe i shd just join them for coffee after they have had dinner. least i can save money and still meet up with them. we'll see. I could get sick of sitting around at home.

all alone at home... had to help clean up the house.. wash dishes... you know.. the works. that's pretty boring haha. and mundane. damn... starting to feel like the maid. lucky... sapphi's still around to keep my company.

now she's barking at some imaginary danger at the door. actually i know it's my neighbour coming back now.. hehe... she's such a doh doh. She had a great time at the bbq yesterday. managed to get a lot of food. bet she's gonna LS tonight.

Really weird watching naruto in chinese. haha... better than nothing.

and there was robbie william's concert on mtv just now.. awww... staying at home is SHIOK arh!

Figured it Out

Have I mentioned that I like Nickelback? And their songs?

Well.... I have finally figured it out! no, this is not a music related blog. But it sure would be cool to post one up one of these days.

I have figured out my irritation with my project mate. Hahaha... not that I feel any better... but more like at least I know why...

Occupational hazard. Teachesr are too used to barking out commands. It's rude to peers but they dun realise it. Of course the fact that he's uncompassionate, and lacks EQ is his personality or character flaw.

But I know, I am also not perfect. I really shouldn't judge a person based on that...

Imagine this scenario. We were at a cafe... to discuss our work. I opened up my laptop.. oh yeah! there's actually free wireless internet access from the cafe. And so, naturally the many IMs that I have on load up. Upon loading up, 2 friends msg-ed me. And you know what that idiot said, "Eh, off it. once you start chatting you cannot stop. and it will take up at least half an hour. cuz it always happens to me. We have no time, we need to start on our discussion." I just stared at him in horror. (ok, lah, I did not stare at him in horror. I was just irritated then.)

Who are you to tell me what programs I can or cannot run off my laptop? Who made you adminstrator of my laptop? Do NOT command me, you may suggest to me nicely. and I MAY listen. But I am not an errant student whom you have the right to rebuke. You do not. Piss off....

Which brings me to my point. I will give him the benefit of a doubt, that it's an occupational hazard that he goes around barking commands.

Anyway... I make a terrible project mate. Pity those drawn into my group... the worse thing is, I still think that I am a good team worker. In office. But somehow... in class, with this group of project mates... I sense... that I am not my best. Not work related, but EQ related. Cuz somehow, I just don't care. I am normally nicer than this... at least I think I am...

But why? Oh woe is me... something wrong with me.

Happy thoughts next blog...

How do you work with someone WITHOUT imagination?

argh...

I am telling you...

getting paired up with pple WITHOUT imagination has gotta be the MOST irritating thing in my life.

Please allow me blog and rant, then shower.. before I can start work on my project.

Now just staring at my design doc makes me feel irritated.

Imagine. a column... with the header INSTRUCTIONS. Now.. WHAT goes under that column? Instructions lah!!!! bloody bastard! I am the REAL McCoy here! I am working what I am studying. The rest of you are just out to get a Masters so that you can climb higher up the whatever school you're in, cuz your promotions are linked to your qualifications. Nevermind if your qualifications are TOTALLY redundant to what you're teaching or working as.

I AM trying to be bloody nice to you. So you bloody well appreciate it! I can tell YOU... if you ever have to work in the private sector... you're gonna die. Cuz you lack creatvity and imagination. How can you survive in our field? I wonder. ooo... SO you were a trainer. Big fat hairy deal! The ideas that you come up with are crap. I came up with them 3 years ago.. and I'd dismissed them cuz I recognise them as crap.

zzzz... cursing at pple like that lowers me. I am better than that...

In a world full of idiots...

I am the biggest IDIOT of all!!!!!

wahh!!!! I am such an idiot.. and to top it all off.. i am a NAIVE idiot! Yes.. I have been made use of! And me, grouser the brillant! went along with it... thinking that I was helping out... when all along... pple were taking me for a ride!

Ahh.. cannot blog out that idiotic act.. cuz that would make you all nod your heads and go.. "yeah.. she's a real blockhead... that grouser"...

Just know this.. I have learnt my lesson. I am an idiot but once! It will never ever happen again. I will not be tricked twice.

==============================================

Aside: haha.. pls do not be astounded by my sudden mood swing. change channels pls.

Was at Grand Hyatt just now.. ahaha good friend of mine was staying there. and she gets to claim her meals! wahaha.. but lucky me! She was in the mood for some local food, so she dabao-ed some satay beehoon... and red-bean paste pancake..

and I got to order Room Service! wahahah!!! In Grand Hyatt!

My steak and soup and ice-cream came served to me in a tray! those roller things! (p.s. she refused to let me look at the prices.. cuz at that time, i was starting to refuse to order the food and to go and dabao something for myself! Everything was FREAKING exhorbitant.. from what I saw under breakfast sets)

wahahah!! it was wayyyyyy coool!!!

pls indulge me for a moment and go "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........room service......... in hyatt......."

wahahaha.. happiness.. little joys like these in life perks me up! still v happy! hahaha.. and feeling damn bloated.. cuz as usual... i over-ordered. but i was smart.. i started on the ice cream first... haha.. it was melting and hey.. why take dessert last? I love dessert and to eat it while I am already stuffed doesn't do it enough justice. so i started with ice-cream, then the soup, then the steak....

k... allow me to sleep off this night of excess... and allow the fats to remain in my body... to join... and conjoin... to slowly become a part of me....

Analysis on Irritation or PMS (for short)

Was talking to my mum on the bus yesterday. Was trying to seek guidance from her. Now, anyone who knows my mum knows that my mum is a very "enlightened" mum... the kind you see on TV who always dispenses good advice, who loves us all to bits.. ie. the best mum in the world. Probably the only reason why I am the person I am... anyway...

I was telling her... how do I deal with the fact that I am easily irritable? I dun want to be irritable because, I dun like the feeling of being irritated. You feel like you want to snap out at somebody, but generally, the feeling of irritation stems from the fact that you cannot lash out at the actual person who actually irritated you. So you end up being foul and irritated to the innocent people. Which is really unfair. But I was also telling her, this feeling of fustration and irritation remains in your stomach.. until... you irritate the hell out of yourself from trying to repress it! Talking bad about others is self inflictingbad karma.. so what's a person gotta do?

And her answer is:

I must learn to let go. dun allow yourself to get irritated. cuz the other party doesn't even know or care that you're irritated and that I am harming myself by allowing myself to get irritated. Easy to say, difficult to practice.

Then I tried to argue with her, saying, "but if the other person deserves to have some form of retribution, or if that other person REALLY was the one in the wrong, then I am allowing the other person to get away with it, then, it's so unfair!!"

Her answer: That's why you have to left go. Because, this person will get his just retribution soon.

I sorta get it, although I am not very sure if I can practice it. I understand.. that the point is IF that guy is really wrong by laws of nature, then he/she will be struck by lightning soon, whether this life or next. But you dun have to be the one to accumulate bad karma by killing him, scoffing him (doubt i can contain this part) or by whatever... i shall try...

Scoff

I am going to scoff at myself and someone else. scoff.. i like the sound of this word.. wahaha.. scoff... scoffing.. i am a scoffer! wahahahaha

anyway.... just wrote this long msn msg to "sheng lin mu" a brilliant mensa accredited freundin of mine.

"yo.. tell me when you're back oki? me doing a stupid project with my project mate on SOUND. in physics... !@#$ stupid man. anyway... i am doing the design doc now.. and I think safer to run through you. so that I dun write crap and get found out by my partner or lecturer."

Scoff Victim no.1
My project mate. WHY? when we can choose any topic for our project did we choose a Physics topic? Even if you did a brillant piece... by default because it is such a boring project.. it has already been condemned to a B paper... Boring man = boring paper = bored partner = B paper. You B grader.. you have been scoffed by me.

Scoff Victim no.2
Myself. Wahaha... reason being... it's ridiculous to blame someone else if you get a B... even if that man is your project partner. I could have just been really antangonistic and overruled everything he said. But as I am reluctant to oppose... I go along with it. And so... I am really the asshole. hahaha... Besides, its my aim to be a B-Grader for this course. It's my ideal score. A would be good, but B is my min, and therefore.. my ideal score. It's OK to get an A and a C. cuz it evens out to a B. I scoff myself.. for being such a dickhead about other pple.. and for being a scoffer.

============

I am only scoffing at 2 people today. Because.. I am still on my course to attract good karma. hahaha... not that I am doing a very good job now.. but still... I will try my best. to help make the project an A paper. Hey.. I have not even started on my other module's project, cuz I am trying to rush out this current one. Hate group project.. cuz the thought of letting people down stresses me out more than simply letting myself down.

I shall end with the word of the day...

SCOFF... coff coff...

My FIRST Job Application

I have applied for my first job since my resignation. And it is to a very big VERY STABLE company in the east. Well... as my brother put it so aptly as I was applying for it. "Jie, IF this company also ends up not paying you, then I think it's you, you're the one with a problem." Which about sums up my life. wahaha... I would post up my resume to show you... but it is prob pte & confidential. you know.. world very small and all, my potential and past employers could chance upon my site. Which has happened.. and I freaked out.. majorly... especially since there is an inordinately large amount of expletives in here. So... I am going for my swim soon. WAhaha.. envy me all you want. I repeat mon, wed, fri = gym tues, thurs, sat = swim Mon - gym (tick) Tues - swim (soon to be ticked.) wahahahahah.... if i am going to be a jobless loafer... i am going to be a happy jobless loafer!!!

typos

I have many typos.. and I have wrong words! damn

been re-reading my blog.. yes i am that bored.. what's a gal gotta do now that she's jobless?

and.. wah.. not only typos.. but there're weird words inside that I believe reflect my conversation with someone at that point of time. writing blogs, carrying on msging with friends or talking with someone while writing confuses my brain. hahahah... so... paiseh paiseh.. for the crap i've been spewing. not that i will spew any less crap.. but.. err.. just assume that i was otherwise occupied at that time when that error occurred.

All About A Blog

Well... the theme for today is blogging. Duhh.. hahaha... but anyway, there're some things that I have noticed about blogging.

Item One
Blogging seems to be losing its popularity. I have friends, just a couple who blog on a regular basis. And I enjoy reading their blogs. However, I have also realised that those are the people who caught on to blogging slightly later. For those who have started earlier... blogging seems to have ceased. I check in everyday, only to see ZERO updates. Ah well, I guess they're either too busy or they have come to realise it's boliao..

Item Two
Blogging is weird. You feel the need to write to the crowd. I realise those people who are superior in their language skills tend to want to "entertain" their readers. And there're those who write from their hearts. It really helps you understand them better... as friends. Both are good, but those who write in "entertaining" manners tends to be those who don't update their blogs regularly. I guess it's cause they feel that it's not worth typing out if it ain't interesting. Which is weird. Since to me at least, blogging can be entertaining, if you're in the mood to entertain someone, and it can be just normal... ie. readers can't comment, since it's fairly mundane, and there's nothing to comment on. but.. whatever...

Item Three
I have been accused of being addicted to blogging and to reading blogs. And I have come to realise that its true. Not that I care, since so far, I only read blogs of people I know... seldom surf around to read others... except for two, and that's just cuz they're entertaining.

Item Four
The need to write a blog that is entertaining sometimes stresses me out. Besides that, I have come to realise that I am always writing negative things in my blog. It could be cuz, my idea of offloading or de-stressing comes from blogging. But at the same time, it does convey the idea or image that I am a very negative person. But, I tihnk most people should know lah. I am a person of extreme highs and lows. And that I alternate between the two like this. *snaps finger*... So readers... know that although I sound negative in my blog, I am actually a very strong person! wahahaha...

Item Five
I dun know.. nothing much to say liao. But figured it's better to have five items, cuz it's a nice round paper!

=================================== the end ==================================

once again... adios folks

Unless my prev blog entry... where my message goodbye can be read by my colleagues... this time round. this blog entry is private.. hehe BYE BYE ALL... I can't say I will miss you guys... cuz we were never that close, but it was really great working with you all. Take care... and I hope Co Y will have a 180 degree turnabout and treat you as you deserve. And maybe pigs will fly, but still, I sincerely hope for the best. In the meantime, although I calculated that I can last about 2 months without a job, the co still can't pay me. They say they will pay in instalments. So, I also bopian. All that I can blame is the stupid non-existent labour law in singapore. haha.. Anyway... to move on in life... this little saga in my life has made me realised that I really have a lot of friends and family who support me. Whether I am in a grouchy, self-pitying mood or not. For those who were unsupportive... *glint in eye* I will repay in kind. hahahaha. no lah... see situation. I am not that mean oki? Friends: All rallied around me... thank you!!! We can still go out. Must eat/play cheap cheap... *grin* for listening to so many complaints and crap from me! hehehe... and for offering to treat me to meals! :P Family: Thanks for the offer of financial aid. Although *zai4 qing2 zai4 li3* I won't accept it, but thanks for the offer. Actually, only my immediate family and my god family lah. But the lunches, the phonecalls, the messages... arigato ne!! ============================================================================== BEGINNING OF NEW CHAPTER! * Read this space for more updates on grouser the great! wahahaha...

Closing another chapter

yup...

I have...

TENDERED...

hopefully no complications.

The lady is gonna speak to me ... soon... later today.

*Prays...*

and still she's trying to tell me that that pay will be pro-rated...

crap...

Good karma...

lai ba

lai ba....

come to me...

Lemme release my bad karma energy first...

I admit... I have been having evil thoughts. mean thoughts...

so lemme just release all of them in this blog entry... and hopefully, they will cease to plague me any more. Note: given that I am a very mean person, with an even meaner mouth... this entry is gonna be loooong.

On Relationships
I wonder... WHY... Why some pple get so mired up in their relationship problems.. that they allow it to take over their entire existence? Is it worth it? If that girl doesn't want you anymore.. then END IT LAH! Trying to patch up... or hoping to patch up... or trying to start things again DOESN'T WORK! Let it go!!! Fate is up! IT'S OVER!!! I know I know... I have never had a relationship... no write to critique.. BUT... I have seen so many people go through even worse things.. and they stood up... stronger than before. But there are these other pple... who allow themselves to get all depressed... and suicidal... deal with it! so what if that guy or girl feels sad?? They are not taking any steps to end or continue the relationship. You should get the hint and move on in life. There is SO much more to life other than love!! Goodness... both guys and girls should just wake up their idea. Ever wonder if the reason why the girl broke up with you is cuz... you're always so weak? and needy? girls dun like guys who are soo clingy and needy, and vice versa. Argh... ok.. this does not dissipate my irritation. Move on to next topic... last note... nobody should ever allow relationships to rule their lifes, there is simply too many things to experience in life besides that... and to allow that ONE person that much control over your own heart and mind is just plain stupidity.

On Companies that come up with crap excuses not to pay up
I have just about had it with companies who come up with crap excuses to delay my pay. And TRUST ME... I have been on the receiving end of so many companies. Whether it's for my permanent job, or whether it's for my freelance jobs. PAY UP!!! Services have been rendered!!! I don't care if you have no money.. that is your own freaking problem!!! YOU have bad cash flow management... it's YOUR problem right? You hired me... then how can you claim that you do not have the resources to pay me?

And what fucking merger??? If you're so broke.. If you cannot handle the overhead costs of a development team.. then why the hell did you hire more staff? Backside itchy want to ruin more lifes isit? IDIOTS!!!!! Turn my life upside down!

AND... after I have told you that the company that you're merging with is a SHIT company and that the people who are going over will be ill treated... and that the boss is inhumane.. you STILL GO AHEAD WITH THE MERGER? Piss off and die dude!!! I hope you never get another good night of sleep.. cuz you have just pushed your entire company into the depths of hell for your own benefit and the bad karma from this move will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Also... on companies that are not paying up for freelance work. HULLO PPLE? Wake up your idea too... Which part me me looks like I care that YOUR client has not paid up? Did they hire me? Noooo.... You did. So how now? YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR SERVICES RENDERED!!! YOU wanker!!! Do I look like a charity organization to you?

On Lack of Money and thereof...
I know... my pay is not low... BUT... stop harping on that! BECAUSE.. I am not getting paid! What is the point of having high pay when I am not getting paid? Does that make me any richer? NO.. IT DOES NOT! Besides.. I have a family to feed. Most 26 year olds DON't HAVE that issue. so NO... YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! go away! Stop saying that I have bad financial management (I admit that..but dun care.. in ranting mood)... and Stop saying that I have no right to cry that I am broke! Having 20 dollars in the bank by any counts is BROKE! I don't care how much I earn!! It's what's in the bank that counts.. and I have NONE IN IT! GIMME MY PAY DAMMIT! You BASTARDS! Qian4 qian2 huan2 qian2.

ok...

let's see... most of my problems are money related... so i do need to accumulate more good karma points. I am sure ranting and raving above has just attributed to very very bad karma points. But hey... sometimes.. some pple just have their off days. A person can only be rational for so long before she needs to release some steam. But on the other hand... if she is always depressed and stuck in self pity.. then yes. you need therepy before you lose all your friends from the whining...

GROW UP!!!

that last note was for myself by the way..

and EARN MORE GOOD KARMA POINTS! QUIT WHINING!

Random Thoughts Entry

#1: Spotted a woman with an LV bag on the mrt train. You know, the normal LV bag... with its sign all over, greyish/brownish with yellowish LV initials? Well, I saw this one lady, she was carrying it, and it had a small flat matching pouch dangling out. Presumably for her ezlink card. And... they had pink flowers on it. So I was just stoning at it.. wondering to myself... why do these pink flowers that looks like plum blossoms be so familiar looking to me... and then *ding dong*... I realised why. Synco, ex colleague of mine.. had this LV wallet with pink flowers, albeit.. a fake one. *Doink*... wonder if that woman's bag is fake too...

#2: I walked to East Coast and back with my Sapphi. Looong walk.. esp in the hot evening sun. Time spent there was cool. Sapphi and I played at the beach for a while. She tried to shit and I tried to stop her. No mishaps there.. nobody shrieked in terror from her. Ok, there were shrieks of terror.. but no casualties, unless looks could kill, in that case.. a lot of pple would be dead from my deadly stares. *ding dong* hullo? My dog is on the leash loh. My dog is also happily sniffing away at some unknown object on the ground. My dog is not even acknowledging your presence... why should you be scared? sheesh...

#3: dun noe if I managed to get the job... prays ... did I mention in my previous posts that when I rejected TWO companies during my time here in CoX, I would regret it and that there would be retribution? I think there is... KARMA....

Notes to self: need to do more good deeds to accumulate good karma points...

My bad...

My life's story is not so clear after all... and I am sure I have confused everyone.

Lemme try this again.

I am due for confirmation from my existing company (Co X). But on that fateful day... it was announced that we're undergoing a merger. and that Co Y is going to aquire my Co.

So... after some probing... I realised... *gasp*... this Co Y that I am going to be transferred over to... is my ex-company!! And... they're an evil company.

So ... I am sorta like... gonna seek newer pastures again...

the story of my life. end.

BANZAI BANZAI BANZAI

*hypes up*

no good news whatsoever!!!

But... GUESS WHAT?


I DON'T CARE!!!

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!

hahahaa... will not allow the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune* to get me down!!! I will pesevere!!!

I will not fall down!!!! YOU can try... but you will never succeed!!! muahahaha!!!

because... I AM A GENIUS!!!

Watashi wa tenzai desu!!!!

watashi wa zettai magenai!!!!! tm synco

anyway... it's friday...

I have my weekend... I will not allow the fact that my life is falling to pieces to get me down!

wahahaha!!!!

I AM ALL PSYCHED UP!!! NOTHING CAN GET ME DOWN!!! BECAUSE... I WILL STAND UP AGAIN!!!

YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!! MUAHAHAH!!!!