Please... indulge me for a moment...
worry worry worry.. gotta clear a medical.
Now, I worry about my weight.. GOSH!!! how many people do you think will get to see my weight and height? It is terrifying... pengz!!!! I swear, I am very heavy boned. I am fat, but really, not as fat as my weight seems to say. I am really very heavy boned! Can someone please thin out my bones a little?
And.. what if I have some terrifying illness? Like.. leukamia... or cancer.. or diabetes.. high potential for that last one.. it's inherited lah. I consume near to no sugar... except for those inherent in the food I eat. hence, my coffee black, no sugar. But still.. what if diabetes has crept up on me unknowingly?
Yeah, I know, you're thinking.. grouser has gone nuts. here she is.. a healthy 26 year old, screaming her life out about nothing. worrying.. for a job that pays peanuts... (i actually like peanuts, btw...)
OK lah.. I know, theoretically, I should clear the test with ease. It's not like they're gonna make run on the threadmill or anything like that right? Wait a minute, they're not going to make me run or rate how "fit" I am right?
Nevermind, I think I am really scaring the shits out of myself now. Winner! At the rate I am going.. I am going to have a cardio attack at the docs. One thing at a time girl, first, call the doc and set an apptmt, next find out the tests they're gonna conduct. Then panic...
30 November 2004
29 November 2004
One Last Hurdle...
One more stage.. just one more stage and I will be officially employed. Pray for me...
27 November 2004
The Story of Kenshin...
Kenshin, was named after my favourite anime/manga character - Rurouni Kenshin. Watch that anime if you haven't already. It's good, even though its one of the older ones around.
Kenshin, is a male German Shepherd. He was my 2nd dog, after the death of my first. Took me more than a year to get over my first baby, Flip. He was a solid, dependable kinda dog. Doesn't bark much, with HUGE paws, he was gonna be one big gsd. We got him at about 2.5 months, cute furry boy.
So he was getting used to our home, from falling into the pond, to playing fetch, sit, down, stay, etc. Picking up very quickly. Then, one evening, as my dad was chatting with his friend at the gate, he left the gate ajar while chatting. Being the nosy parker that all dogs are.. Kenshin went exploring. And... he got lost.
I was out at that time... so I came rushing home. I couldn't believe that I could lose a SECOND pet. Note, this took place after my Tiger was "lost" aka, thrown away. And ubelievably, BOTH incidence happened BECAUSE of my dad. Can you sense that there is ill blood between us already?
Anyway, we searched high and low. With even more effort! Because, my whole family (other then my evil dad) knew that I was not able to take the blow of losing a 2nd pet. Reward was offered, missing ad placed in newspaper (can you imagine, it costs more than 200 bucks for a missing ad, with photo, and it's only like a few lines). Missing Dogs posters were swamping all the street light poles, etc. It took me the whole night, meaning from 9pm to 2am... to cover the entire area.
But... to no avail.
After about 2 months of me moping around the home, my mum went with me and got me another gsd. My baby now, Sapphi. Female. So... I loved her doubly hard... and I kept the dog out of my dad's way as much as possible.
Two months later...
A middle aged couple in a BMW 7 series stopped outside my place. They came up to the gate and asked, did you guys lose a gsd sometime back? Iwas like, "yah... you know where he is?" and they were like.. " I think the gsd we have at home, may be the one we lost." So I was like... "REALLY?" and we followed them to their place in our car.
Staring at me, was a huge young gsd, he was probably about 8/9 months then already, my Kenshin. But, he was mine alright. from photos when he was younger that the family had snapped, and certain mannerisms.
You must be curious to know, why the couple came and informed us right? I'll tell you why...
They had no time to take care of Kenshin, he was overweight when we went to meet him. Plus, their sons were too lazy to bring him out for walks.
Now.. they knew we were the former owners of Kenshin as they stay in the vicinity, and they had seen our missing dog posters and even the ad in the papers. BUT... the mum said, "my kids were so attached to the dog then, and they begged us not to return the dog."
Yah right.. you BITCH!!!! I Curse your entire family!!! I brought up that dog! You had the dog for like a few days and you're so attached you can't bear to return it? They claimed that a Bangaladesh worker had sold Kenshin to them at the petrol station near my home for a couple of hundred. You morons! the reward I was offering was like MORE THAN THAT LOH!!!
Now, after Kenshin is reaching full size, and not so cute anymore... then you want to forsake him??
WHY DON'T YOU GO AND DIE!!!!!
Anyway, we of course took Kenshin back. The ONLY thing that I am grateful to them for.. is the fact that at least they returned Kenshin back to me. It doesn't relieve them of the guilt, but at least, there is one redeeming point.
Kenshin and Sapphi, naturally got a long splendidly. But, two dogs, and me working, therefore only coming back in evenings meant... a lot more work for my mum. And care for two big dogs was a little too much. But it was fun, I am proud to say, Kenshin became a lot healthier, fitter, during his stay with us. DOGS are NOT meant to be bought at a whim at petrol station!!! You're not being fair to the dog, and yourself. You should prepare for your home, your family, and yourself, and the dog. A dog is not an object, he/she is a living thing. Arghh.. anyway...
We continued for a couple of months like this. Then our house was about to sold... so, we knew the next home was probably gonna be a condominium at best, and we will not be able to keep both dogs.
I found a good owner, friend of friend.. who has reared shepherds all his life, and still had one gsd at home. they are multiple dog owners. (ie. rich pple lah) so, they came over, and to be fair, I asked them to choose which dog they wanted. They had huge gardens, loads of space for the dog. So, whichever dog went with them, would probably lead a healthy life.
And once again, Kenshin left me. :(
When I shifted to my new place.. I realised.. GOOD NEWS! Wahahahaha... I am living just down the street from Kenshin's new owners. So now, daily walks includes visiting Kenshin. I swear, I didn't know it was that near, my apartment and their house.
AND.. next week, I am going to fetch Tiger back. Need to prepare also, get litter box, food, feeding bowls, wahahha... reached a compromise with my mum. He will stay outside the apartment, but we will feed and care for him. Think it should be alright, cuz, Tiger's semi-wild... now that he has spent so much time outside. Plus, he has probably forgotten what it's like to stay in a house. Plus, Sapphi's favourite hobby is actually chasing cats... this is probably for the best.
WAHAHAHA... you know what? All my pets, lost/thrown away, they're all accounted for now. And I know that they're all alive and healthy... I feel like, if I die now, I really don't have any regrets in life. Because, my pets are all back with me.
To the person up there: Thank you for being so kind to me. I really appreciate it. Thank you for caring and protecting my cats/dogs, etc. And for returning them all back to me eventually.
Kenshin, is a male German Shepherd. He was my 2nd dog, after the death of my first. Took me more than a year to get over my first baby, Flip. He was a solid, dependable kinda dog. Doesn't bark much, with HUGE paws, he was gonna be one big gsd. We got him at about 2.5 months, cute furry boy.
So he was getting used to our home, from falling into the pond, to playing fetch, sit, down, stay, etc. Picking up very quickly. Then, one evening, as my dad was chatting with his friend at the gate, he left the gate ajar while chatting. Being the nosy parker that all dogs are.. Kenshin went exploring. And... he got lost.
I was out at that time... so I came rushing home. I couldn't believe that I could lose a SECOND pet. Note, this took place after my Tiger was "lost" aka, thrown away. And ubelievably, BOTH incidence happened BECAUSE of my dad. Can you sense that there is ill blood between us already?
Anyway, we searched high and low. With even more effort! Because, my whole family (other then my evil dad) knew that I was not able to take the blow of losing a 2nd pet. Reward was offered, missing ad placed in newspaper (can you imagine, it costs more than 200 bucks for a missing ad, with photo, and it's only like a few lines). Missing Dogs posters were swamping all the street light poles, etc. It took me the whole night, meaning from 9pm to 2am... to cover the entire area.
But... to no avail.
After about 2 months of me moping around the home, my mum went with me and got me another gsd. My baby now, Sapphi. Female. So... I loved her doubly hard... and I kept the dog out of my dad's way as much as possible.
Two months later...
A middle aged couple in a BMW 7 series stopped outside my place. They came up to the gate and asked, did you guys lose a gsd sometime back? Iwas like, "yah... you know where he is?" and they were like.. " I think the gsd we have at home, may be the one we lost." So I was like... "REALLY?" and we followed them to their place in our car.
Staring at me, was a huge young gsd, he was probably about 8/9 months then already, my Kenshin. But, he was mine alright. from photos when he was younger that the family had snapped, and certain mannerisms.
You must be curious to know, why the couple came and informed us right? I'll tell you why...
They had no time to take care of Kenshin, he was overweight when we went to meet him. Plus, their sons were too lazy to bring him out for walks.
Now.. they knew we were the former owners of Kenshin as they stay in the vicinity, and they had seen our missing dog posters and even the ad in the papers. BUT... the mum said, "my kids were so attached to the dog then, and they begged us not to return the dog."
Yah right.. you BITCH!!!! I Curse your entire family!!! I brought up that dog! You had the dog for like a few days and you're so attached you can't bear to return it? They claimed that a Bangaladesh worker had sold Kenshin to them at the petrol station near my home for a couple of hundred. You morons! the reward I was offering was like MORE THAN THAT LOH!!!
Now, after Kenshin is reaching full size, and not so cute anymore... then you want to forsake him??
WHY DON'T YOU GO AND DIE!!!!!
Anyway, we of course took Kenshin back. The ONLY thing that I am grateful to them for.. is the fact that at least they returned Kenshin back to me. It doesn't relieve them of the guilt, but at least, there is one redeeming point.
Kenshin and Sapphi, naturally got a long splendidly. But, two dogs, and me working, therefore only coming back in evenings meant... a lot more work for my mum. And care for two big dogs was a little too much. But it was fun, I am proud to say, Kenshin became a lot healthier, fitter, during his stay with us. DOGS are NOT meant to be bought at a whim at petrol station!!! You're not being fair to the dog, and yourself. You should prepare for your home, your family, and yourself, and the dog. A dog is not an object, he/she is a living thing. Arghh.. anyway...
We continued for a couple of months like this. Then our house was about to sold... so, we knew the next home was probably gonna be a condominium at best, and we will not be able to keep both dogs.
I found a good owner, friend of friend.. who has reared shepherds all his life, and still had one gsd at home. they are multiple dog owners. (ie. rich pple lah) so, they came over, and to be fair, I asked them to choose which dog they wanted. They had huge gardens, loads of space for the dog. So, whichever dog went with them, would probably lead a healthy life.
And once again, Kenshin left me. :(
When I shifted to my new place.. I realised.. GOOD NEWS! Wahahahaha... I am living just down the street from Kenshin's new owners. So now, daily walks includes visiting Kenshin. I swear, I didn't know it was that near, my apartment and their house.
AND.. next week, I am going to fetch Tiger back. Need to prepare also, get litter box, food, feeding bowls, wahahha... reached a compromise with my mum. He will stay outside the apartment, but we will feed and care for him. Think it should be alright, cuz, Tiger's semi-wild... now that he has spent so much time outside. Plus, he has probably forgotten what it's like to stay in a house. Plus, Sapphi's favourite hobby is actually chasing cats... this is probably for the best.
WAHAHAHA... you know what? All my pets, lost/thrown away, they're all accounted for now. And I know that they're all alive and healthy... I feel like, if I die now, I really don't have any regrets in life. Because, my pets are all back with me.
To the person up there: Thank you for being so kind to me. I really appreciate it. Thank you for caring and protecting my cats/dogs, etc. And for returning them all back to me eventually.
24 November 2004
To be or not to be, that is the question...
Did you know I was an English Literature Student?
Did you also know that I really did enjoy studying English Literature? My forte was in plays. I aced most of them. Except, the study of English Literature at graduate level includes novels (which I was ok at) and poems (which I sucked at.) Which explains my average grades in them. A for this, B for that and C for the third, equates to a B.
I miss literature. I miss it because, it was and is, in a way, a study about nothing. And yet, it is so fun to immerse in it. And you read about the whole world, without leaving your room. You see what the author, playwright, or poet says, and even things that they don't say. Because you assume them to be there, and you substantiate it.
But my studies nowadays revolves around the real world, and I study for a very crude and terrible reason. For money. For advancement. Gone is the good ol' days when studying was for the sake of studying. I was a student, therefore I study. Not that I was a hardworking student. Playing was infinitely more fun.
The beauty of literature is, human and actual relation to real world is kept to a minimum. More often than not, the person you're studying is dead. It's not like Geography, where, the studies made may impact the world, or the study of science or IT, to help revolutionise the real world. No. The study of literature is like, the study of art. It is infinitely more and yet, it is also about nothing.
Learning about the beauty of the language that the playwright uses, the multi layered meanings contained within a sentence, the historical context, how outrageous it must have been at that time, will not change the price of oil nor will it mean more money for the first person to realise it. And yet, one can get so immersed in the study of the play, the playwright, and his life back then, its history, the geography... it weaves out a whole new world.
When I did English Literature, more often then not, I feel a part of me detract from real world. For only then, can you appreciate the beauty of language. If I was to stay mired in real world, the cynical part of me would laugh, because, it is REALLY all about nothing. But yet, this detachment feels so real, one hates to come back. I wish I can do that again. But I can't. Because...
Life's like that.
So when Hamlet says, "To be or not to be, that is the question...", did he realise that, it is not a question if one does not have a choice? I say, "To be, and stop whining about it."
BAH!!! I must get a job! my entries are getting increasingly boliao, annoying even me. ARGH... someone give me a freelance job. Least it will occupy my time, while earning me some much needed money.
*Starts batting eyelash* Editorials that needs to be written? Anybody? Instructional Design? (I charge slightly more for this.)
Did you also know that I really did enjoy studying English Literature? My forte was in plays. I aced most of them. Except, the study of English Literature at graduate level includes novels (which I was ok at) and poems (which I sucked at.) Which explains my average grades in them. A for this, B for that and C for the third, equates to a B.
I miss literature. I miss it because, it was and is, in a way, a study about nothing. And yet, it is so fun to immerse in it. And you read about the whole world, without leaving your room. You see what the author, playwright, or poet says, and even things that they don't say. Because you assume them to be there, and you substantiate it.
But my studies nowadays revolves around the real world, and I study for a very crude and terrible reason. For money. For advancement. Gone is the good ol' days when studying was for the sake of studying. I was a student, therefore I study. Not that I was a hardworking student. Playing was infinitely more fun.
The beauty of literature is, human and actual relation to real world is kept to a minimum. More often than not, the person you're studying is dead. It's not like Geography, where, the studies made may impact the world, or the study of science or IT, to help revolutionise the real world. No. The study of literature is like, the study of art. It is infinitely more and yet, it is also about nothing.
Learning about the beauty of the language that the playwright uses, the multi layered meanings contained within a sentence, the historical context, how outrageous it must have been at that time, will not change the price of oil nor will it mean more money for the first person to realise it. And yet, one can get so immersed in the study of the play, the playwright, and his life back then, its history, the geography... it weaves out a whole new world.
When I did English Literature, more often then not, I feel a part of me detract from real world. For only then, can you appreciate the beauty of language. If I was to stay mired in real world, the cynical part of me would laugh, because, it is REALLY all about nothing. But yet, this detachment feels so real, one hates to come back. I wish I can do that again. But I can't. Because...
Life's like that.
So when Hamlet says, "To be or not to be, that is the question...", did he realise that, it is not a question if one does not have a choice? I say, "To be, and stop whining about it."
BAH!!! I must get a job! my entries are getting increasingly boliao, annoying even me. ARGH... someone give me a freelance job. Least it will occupy my time, while earning me some much needed money.
*Starts batting eyelash* Editorials that needs to be written? Anybody? Instructional Design? (I charge slightly more for this.)
22 November 2004
you know how you can get really sensitive?
I don't know about the rest of you...
but i go through my ultra uber sensitive phase.
during times like these, i take everything seriously. jokes, non-jokes. I hate talking or not talking. If I talk to others, and I get brushed aside, I feel so bad that I feel like the worst thing to appear since the baby in a paper bag. If I don't talk, I feel so alone in this world.
Times like these are bad. just like this entry that I shall soon delete, or maybe not.
I choose to delete it because, then, nobody will know how vulnerable I am. Being seen as vulnerable to me is one of the worst things in life. Because, it opens you up even more, allowing others to pour lemon, salt, vinegar and what not onto all your open wounds.
I choose not to delete it because, this is who I am. Sensitive or not.
I may post it up, in hope that someone will read it and go.. awww...
I may not post it up, cuz someone will say, "this girl should go bugger off and get a life. Can't deal with it? Suicide is any option." of which then, I will get even more intensely depressed, or I will get really pissed. And I hate being in either state.
I shall post this up because, for today, I am OK. Wahaha.. I am not feeling particularly depressed, I just suddenly thought back to the times when I get depressed. which is crap, just like this entry. wahaha... it is addictive, writing crap entries. When I have just written an entry like 30 mins ago, or even less.
CRAP! wahahhaa... being depressed is crap, until you're in depression. then you can just wallow in it, until it is time to climb back out again. then... WELCOME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD!
but i go through my ultra uber sensitive phase.
during times like these, i take everything seriously. jokes, non-jokes. I hate talking or not talking. If I talk to others, and I get brushed aside, I feel so bad that I feel like the worst thing to appear since the baby in a paper bag. If I don't talk, I feel so alone in this world.
Times like these are bad. just like this entry that I shall soon delete, or maybe not.
I choose to delete it because, then, nobody will know how vulnerable I am. Being seen as vulnerable to me is one of the worst things in life. Because, it opens you up even more, allowing others to pour lemon, salt, vinegar and what not onto all your open wounds.
I choose not to delete it because, this is who I am. Sensitive or not.
I may post it up, in hope that someone will read it and go.. awww...
I may not post it up, cuz someone will say, "this girl should go bugger off and get a life. Can't deal with it? Suicide is any option." of which then, I will get even more intensely depressed, or I will get really pissed. And I hate being in either state.
I shall post this up because, for today, I am OK. Wahaha.. I am not feeling particularly depressed, I just suddenly thought back to the times when I get depressed. which is crap, just like this entry. wahaha... it is addictive, writing crap entries. When I have just written an entry like 30 mins ago, or even less.
CRAP! wahahhaa... being depressed is crap, until you're in depression. then you can just wallow in it, until it is time to climb back out again. then... WELCOME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD!
Interview, Mayday & JLPT
Wahaha.. i wanted to say, enough said. But then... I have more to say than that. wahaha...
Had an interview this morning. They actually called me in the afternoon to offer me the position. Fast huh! Well, I asked for a day or two to consider it. Waiting for another company to offer also. Wanna compareb salary and benefits. Evil? Yeah, I know. But.. a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.
Mayday. Was having dinner at cafe cartel at plaza sing... and mayday started having a live performance outside! I rushed out to take a look. But I was with my bunch of ang moh speaking friends, and I think they didn't have that much interest in taiwanese rock bands... damn.. or i would have dragged everyone out and partake in some headbanging action. Ok, so it's not really a headbanging band.. BUT... they're still a very solid rockish kinda band.
First person that came to mind? my ermei.. called him. Should have known. hahah. he was already in the audience. Wanted to join him in the meet the band session. But turns out, think you need to have a cd for them to autograph. and as you all know, moi's broke, cuz moi is out of a job. so no hope of that. Much as I was tempted to rush to the record store and get their album just so that I can get their autograpg and of course, see them up close and person. aahhhh... ah xing.....
And... JLPT cuz.. I really have to start studying for my JLPT. I know I will fail, so I don't know why I am even bothering to study for it. It could be that I will give up totally and not even turn up for the test. Sheesshh... waste of funds. Shd study just cuz I've already paid for the test fee and cuz the exam comes once a year ONLY, and so, it's also a waste of time if i fail this test.
I wanna go visit my friend in thailand.... I wanna go visit my aunt in germany... i can't. cuz I am broke and I need to get a job real soon....whatever. I wanna collect death note too.. but.. hey.. too broke... already following wayy too many series then I have money and cabinet space for. haha.. I miss those days in CY when all I had to do was go to the library, read them, then throw them back again.
Had an interview this morning. They actually called me in the afternoon to offer me the position. Fast huh! Well, I asked for a day or two to consider it. Waiting for another company to offer also. Wanna compareb salary and benefits. Evil? Yeah, I know. But.. a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.
Mayday. Was having dinner at cafe cartel at plaza sing... and mayday started having a live performance outside! I rushed out to take a look. But I was with my bunch of ang moh speaking friends, and I think they didn't have that much interest in taiwanese rock bands... damn.. or i would have dragged everyone out and partake in some headbanging action. Ok, so it's not really a headbanging band.. BUT... they're still a very solid rockish kinda band.
First person that came to mind? my ermei.. called him. Should have known. hahah. he was already in the audience. Wanted to join him in the meet the band session. But turns out, think you need to have a cd for them to autograph. and as you all know, moi's broke, cuz moi is out of a job. so no hope of that. Much as I was tempted to rush to the record store and get their album just so that I can get their autograpg and of course, see them up close and person. aahhhh... ah xing.....
And... JLPT cuz.. I really have to start studying for my JLPT. I know I will fail, so I don't know why I am even bothering to study for it. It could be that I will give up totally and not even turn up for the test. Sheesshh... waste of funds. Shd study just cuz I've already paid for the test fee and cuz the exam comes once a year ONLY, and so, it's also a waste of time if i fail this test.
I wanna go visit my friend in thailand.... I wanna go visit my aunt in germany... i can't. cuz I am broke and I need to get a job real soon....whatever. I wanna collect death note too.. but.. hey.. too broke... already following wayy too many series then I have money and cabinet space for. haha.. I miss those days in CY when all I had to do was go to the library, read them, then throw them back again.
19 November 2004
Meow... the story of my cat, Tiger... Roaarrr....
Tiger was
found on the 30th Dec, on a rainy morning. Hairless lump, that looked half dead, and he was lying in the middle of the road. Brought him home, figured, even if he was to die, should let him die a clean, dry death, and not exposed to the rain to die of cold, or to be run down by cars.
Naturally, he survived... since he has a story written after him. He made it into adulthood, amidst much pampering, from bottle fed milk, to teaching him how to use the potty (yes, I know, it's instinctive, and there isn't much to teach). His many scraps with Flip, my dog then. Now Flip, that's a story for another day. A smarter dog there never was.
Tiger killed a lot of furnitures and ornaments back then. He was a real rascal, and my dad hated him. Cuz teh furniture and ornaments he killed were v expensive or rare. (Thought: My dad's an interior designer, so you can imagine how "polished" my home is)
So one day, when my mum was in China (that wimp), he caught Tiger while he was in his cage, and drove him away to Ubi and threw him there. I came home from work, no Tiger.
After a lot of probing, crying, sulking and screaming later, I realised he was in Ubi. Commence search.
Fruitless Search. Rewards and stuff were offered, No cat. Doesn't help that he's one ugly cat, nothing really identifiable. He was a stray, I can't even pin a breed on him. Other than Singapore Stray Cat.
Heart broken. I gave up my search. Have never forgiven Dad.
Now...
2 years later...
I have found him. He's being kept at XX Place. XX Place is where the local group who's in charge of the stray cat population here. They put them to sleep, when the the population gets too big. We have a severe stray cat problem here.
BUT, Tiger's life is very big. (That's a direct chinese translation by the way, Ming4Da4). He survived that, cuz I think he was rather domesticated, and despite being a little rascal, he's still v well behaved compared to other cats. (Think: He chokes on fish bone. Gotta remove the bones before giving him fish.)
So they kept him around the compound.
During the Sars period, when hundreds of cats were being culled, the nice pple at XX Place hid the 3 cats they had around the compound, and once again, saved their lives.
Now... my brother went to XX place on business, and he found Tiger.
I went today, and verified. He's our Tiger.
Problem: Cannot keep cat in home now. so we're gonna leave him there. but it seems morally wrong.
sigh.. at least he's still alive right?
found on the 30th Dec, on a rainy morning. Hairless lump, that looked half dead, and he was lying in the middle of the road. Brought him home, figured, even if he was to die, should let him die a clean, dry death, and not exposed to the rain to die of cold, or to be run down by cars.
Naturally, he survived... since he has a story written after him. He made it into adulthood, amidst much pampering, from bottle fed milk, to teaching him how to use the potty (yes, I know, it's instinctive, and there isn't much to teach). His many scraps with Flip, my dog then. Now Flip, that's a story for another day. A smarter dog there never was.
Tiger killed a lot of furnitures and ornaments back then. He was a real rascal, and my dad hated him. Cuz teh furniture and ornaments he killed were v expensive or rare. (Thought: My dad's an interior designer, so you can imagine how "polished" my home is)
So one day, when my mum was in China (that wimp), he caught Tiger while he was in his cage, and drove him away to Ubi and threw him there. I came home from work, no Tiger.
After a lot of probing, crying, sulking and screaming later, I realised he was in Ubi. Commence search.
Fruitless Search. Rewards and stuff were offered, No cat. Doesn't help that he's one ugly cat, nothing really identifiable. He was a stray, I can't even pin a breed on him. Other than Singapore Stray Cat.
Heart broken. I gave up my search. Have never forgiven Dad.
Now...
2 years later...
I have found him. He's being kept at XX Place. XX Place is where the local group who's in charge of the stray cat population here. They put them to sleep, when the the population gets too big. We have a severe stray cat problem here.
BUT, Tiger's life is very big. (That's a direct chinese translation by the way, Ming4Da4). He survived that, cuz I think he was rather domesticated, and despite being a little rascal, he's still v well behaved compared to other cats. (Think: He chokes on fish bone. Gotta remove the bones before giving him fish.)
So they kept him around the compound.
During the Sars period, when hundreds of cats were being culled, the nice pple at XX Place hid the 3 cats they had around the compound, and once again, saved their lives.
Now... my brother went to XX place on business, and he found Tiger.
I went today, and verified. He's our Tiger.
Problem: Cannot keep cat in home now. so we're gonna leave him there. but it seems morally wrong.
sigh.. at least he's still alive right?
18 November 2004
My sentiments exactly...
I quote ... ================================================================================= LOVE YOUR JOB, BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY BCOZ U NEVER KNOW WHEN COMPANY STOPS LOVING YOU - Narayana Murthy Extract of Mr. Narayana Murthy's Speech during Mentor Session: I know people who work 12 hours a day, six days a week, or more. Some people do so because of a work emergency where the long hours are only temporary. Other people I know have put in these hours for years. I don't know if they are working all these hours, but I do know they are in the office this long. Others put in long office hours because they are addicted to the workplace. Whatever the reason for putting in overtime, working long hours over the long term is harmful to the person and to the organization. There are things managers can do to change this for everyone's benefit.Being in the office long hours, over long periods of time, makes way for potential errors. My colleagues who are in the office long hours frequently make mistakes caused by fatigue. Correcting these mistakes requires their time as well as the time and energy of others.I have seen people work Tuesday through Friday to correct mistakes made after 5 PM on Monday. Another problem is that people who are in the office for long hours are not pleasant company. They often complain about other people (who aren't working as hard); they are irritable, or cranky, or even angry. Other people avoid them.Such behaviour poses problems, where work goes much better when people work together instead of avoiding one another. As Managers,there are things we can do to help people leave the office. First and foremost is to set the example and go home ourselves. I work with a manager who chides people for working long hours. His words quickly lose their meaning when he sends these chiding group e-mails with a Time-stamp of 2 AM, Sunday. Second is to encourage people to put some balance in their lives. For instance, here is a guideline I find helpful: 1) Wake up, eat a good breakfast, and go to work. 2) Work hard and smart for eight or nine hours. 3) Go home. 4) Read the comics, watch a funny movie, dig in the dirt, play with your kids, etc. 5) Eat well and sleep well. This is called recreating. Doing steps 1, 3, 4, and 5 enable step 2. Working regular hours and recreating daily are simple concepts. They are hard for some of us because that requires personal change. They are possible since we all have the power to choose to do them.In considering the issue of overtime, I am reminded of my eldest son. When he was a toddler, if people were visiting the apartment, he would not fall asleep no matter how long the visit, and no matter what time of day it was.! He would fight off sleep until the visitors left. It was as if he was afraid that he would miss something. Once our visitors' left, he would go to sleep.By this time, however, he was over tired and would scream through half the night with nightmares. He, my wife, and I, all paid the price for his fear of missing out. Perhaps some people put in such long hours because they don't want to miss anything when they leave the office. The trouble with this is that events will never stop happening. That is life ! Things happen 24 hours a day. Allowing for little rest is not ultimately practical. So, take a nap.Things will happen while you're asleep, but you will have the energy to catch up when you wake. Hence. "LOVE YOUR JOB BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY" . - Narayana Murthy =================================================================================
mediocrity
yes.. and the topic of dicussion today is...
MEDIOCRITY.
isn't that a scary word?
unfortunately, despite me wanting to be someone GREAT! TALENTED... or what not...
at best, i am mediocre. What is Mediocre?
adj 1: moderate to inferior in quality; "they improved the quality from mediocre to above average"; "he would make a poor spy" [syn: poor, second-rate] 2: of no exceptional quality or ability; "a novel of average merit"; "only a fair performance of the sonata"; "in fair health"; "the caliber of the students has gone from mediocre to above average"; "the performance was middling at best" [syn: average, fair, middling] 3: poor to middling in quality; "there have been good and mediocre and bad artists"
Naturally, I have plans to drag the other 90% of the world down with me in this entry. wahahha.. cuz that is what most people are. MEDIOCRE! 5% are geniuses, and the other 5% are morons.
I am in the majority... and that is scarier than anything else. It means I am normal.
Who wants to admit that they're normal? Everyone wants to be a superstar. Or, unique... as Crow Nth is. But, then you realise, there is no such thing as unique. You're replaceable. Nobody will miss you when you're gone. Because, this is how the world works.
Bah....
I don't want to be normal. I refuse to be mediocre. But frankly, it is so much easier. Life at the top is lonely. If you're the top or bottom 5%, it means, there's a lot less people there with you. What about friends? Yeah... I know, I am entering the realm of "self comfort" here.
I am happy, much as I resent being mediocre. Whatever... ridiculous entry, this is...
and I AM UNDER THE AVERAGE/ABOVE AVERAGE category, not the inferior, below average portion. I insist, it's my blog. I win. :)
MEDIOCRITY.
isn't that a scary word?
unfortunately, despite me wanting to be someone GREAT! TALENTED... or what not...
at best, i am mediocre. What is Mediocre?
adj 1: moderate to inferior in quality; "they improved the quality from mediocre to above average"; "he would make a poor spy" [syn: poor, second-rate] 2: of no exceptional quality or ability; "a novel of average merit"; "only a fair performance of the sonata"; "in fair health"; "the caliber of the students has gone from mediocre to above average"; "the performance was middling at best" [syn: average, fair, middling] 3: poor to middling in quality; "there have been good and mediocre and bad artists"
Naturally, I have plans to drag the other 90% of the world down with me in this entry. wahahha.. cuz that is what most people are. MEDIOCRE! 5% are geniuses, and the other 5% are morons.
I am in the majority... and that is scarier than anything else. It means I am normal.
Who wants to admit that they're normal? Everyone wants to be a superstar. Or, unique... as Crow Nth is. But, then you realise, there is no such thing as unique. You're replaceable. Nobody will miss you when you're gone. Because, this is how the world works.
Bah....
I don't want to be normal. I refuse to be mediocre. But frankly, it is so much easier. Life at the top is lonely. If you're the top or bottom 5%, it means, there's a lot less people there with you. What about friends? Yeah... I know, I am entering the realm of "self comfort" here.
I am happy, much as I resent being mediocre. Whatever... ridiculous entry, this is...
and I AM UNDER THE AVERAGE/ABOVE AVERAGE category, not the inferior, below average portion. I insist, it's my blog. I win. :)
17 November 2004
tiger... meow
did i mention that my brother called me while i was in china, saying that he thinks he has found my long lost cat?
Well, I am going down. right after he has finished washing up. to the shelter, to verify if he is my cat. but my family has already stated very emphatically, no cats in the house. esp since we already have a dog. and tiger when he was with us previously, was a very destructive little cat.
anyway... go see first. mebbe not even tiger. but.. my heart pounding now...
Well, I am going down. right after he has finished washing up. to the shelter, to verify if he is my cat. but my family has already stated very emphatically, no cats in the house. esp since we already have a dog. and tiger when he was with us previously, was a very destructive little cat.
anyway... go see first. mebbe not even tiger. but.. my heart pounding now...
16 November 2004
Here's a more detailed blog... or rather.. diary.
This is going to take a looong time to write. It could take me all night. So by the time you finish reading this entry, you may be suffering from buttache. So... go get yourself a kopi-o kosong... this is going to be loong.
Departure: As mentioned in earlier entries.. I had been rushing out quite a lot of things, so I was still feeling rather exhsausted when i reached the airport. But ... was starting to get high...
Took off: I love plane rides. I love it when the pressure builds up.. and you're headed for take off... adrenalin ruuuussshhhh....
then.. it started getting boring. tweedle thumbs. despite my exhaustion, despite all that... i cannot sleep on planes. maybe it's the altitude. I just feel all headache and lack of oxygen and stuff... had a 13 hour flight from singapore to amsterdam, transit and 3 hours to frankfurt. Yup.. wide eye syndrome.
Then.. I arrived. Boring. got into bus. started travelling towards mount emei. gosh..
this entry is really going to take damn long.
guess what? I have run out of patience to blog it all out.
IT WAS FUN. period. wahahaha
It snowed, I made a mini snowman... I had snow fights. not all of which I won. damn hands become numb... and painful too quickly.
But I am also glad to be back in Singapore. BECAUSE... I dun have to dress to go out for supper. and undress when i get back to my room, and dress again to get off the bus, then undress when I am back in. It's a real hassle wearing so many layers. I get tired from carrying my many layers of clothing around. Freaking cold I tell you. Not colder then germany mind you, but still.. cold enough to warrant long johns. and staying at an altitude of 2800... means... altitude sickness. Climbing stairs has never been so tiring.. and walking back to the hotel room and make me huff and puff, due to lack of oxygen. just walking leh! and it was so cold.. and i had this constant tension in my head, feeling ferverish etc., all due to the lack of oxygen. you keep breathing.. but you never seem to get enough oxygen into your body. and we were trekking around mountains at 3200 above sea level. but hey.. somethina bout snow capped mountains that just makes it oh so fun.
Did I say I was tired of writing? I lied. just now.
But now i am. more adventures for another day.
Departure: As mentioned in earlier entries.. I had been rushing out quite a lot of things, so I was still feeling rather exhsausted when i reached the airport. But ... was starting to get high...
Took off: I love plane rides. I love it when the pressure builds up.. and you're headed for take off... adrenalin ruuuussshhhh....
then.. it started getting boring. tweedle thumbs. despite my exhaustion, despite all that... i cannot sleep on planes. maybe it's the altitude. I just feel all headache and lack of oxygen and stuff... had a 13 hour flight from singapore to amsterdam, transit and 3 hours to frankfurt. Yup.. wide eye syndrome.
Then.. I arrived. Boring. got into bus. started travelling towards mount emei. gosh..
this entry is really going to take damn long.
guess what? I have run out of patience to blog it all out.
IT WAS FUN. period. wahahaha
It snowed, I made a mini snowman... I had snow fights. not all of which I won. damn hands become numb... and painful too quickly.
But I am also glad to be back in Singapore. BECAUSE... I dun have to dress to go out for supper. and undress when i get back to my room, and dress again to get off the bus, then undress when I am back in. It's a real hassle wearing so many layers. I get tired from carrying my many layers of clothing around. Freaking cold I tell you. Not colder then germany mind you, but still.. cold enough to warrant long johns. and staying at an altitude of 2800... means... altitude sickness. Climbing stairs has never been so tiring.. and walking back to the hotel room and make me huff and puff, due to lack of oxygen. just walking leh! and it was so cold.. and i had this constant tension in my head, feeling ferverish etc., all due to the lack of oxygen. you keep breathing.. but you never seem to get enough oxygen into your body. and we were trekking around mountains at 3200 above sea level. but hey.. somethina bout snow capped mountains that just makes it oh so fun.
Did I say I was tired of writing? I lied. just now.
But now i am. more adventures for another day.
15 November 2004
Two Cuppucinos please...
Yeah...
I AM BACK!!!
Quick summary
1) I played with snow.
2) I made a snowman.
3) I had snowfights.
4) My first run with altitude sickness.
5) Scenery... scenery and more scenery.
6) Paradise.
7) Cuppucinos in China comes with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkle as opposed to foam.
8) Pandas are really cute.
9) Toilets are disgusting. No flush system, but they have automatic taps.
10) I want to go back again.
Wahahaha...
I love my top 10s...
I am good....
I AM BACK!!!
Quick summary
1) I played with snow.
2) I made a snowman.
3) I had snowfights.
4) My first run with altitude sickness.
5) Scenery... scenery and more scenery.
6) Paradise.
7) Cuppucinos in China comes with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkle as opposed to foam.
8) Pandas are really cute.
9) Toilets are disgusting. No flush system, but they have automatic taps.
10) I want to go back again.
Wahahaha...
I love my top 10s...
I am good....
06 November 2004
I'm Leaving... on a jet plane...
YES YES YES!!!
Project 01: Status: Done
Project 02: Status: Done
Freelance: Status: Done
wahaha... 48 hours later, and 4 hours of sleep.. I have managed to finish everything! I am brilliant!
wahaha..and very tired and stoned...
I have packed my bags... now all I need to do is... shower the dog, and myself of course.
And.. mebbe find some time to complete my last stage of theme hospital. or sleep. yeah. sleep sounds good too... we'll see.. how "energetic" I am after my shower and my walk with my dog.
hehe.. tired... really... stoned more like it. my brain's pretty dead. the high from packing my bags is like starting to dissipate. sitting here typing this entry, I feel this wave of tiredness...
Ah well... I'm leaving on a jet plane...
YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!
Project 01: Status: Done
Project 02: Status: Done
Freelance: Status: Done
wahaha... 48 hours later, and 4 hours of sleep.. I have managed to finish everything! I am brilliant!
wahaha..and very tired and stoned...
I have packed my bags... now all I need to do is... shower the dog, and myself of course.
And.. mebbe find some time to complete my last stage of theme hospital. or sleep. yeah. sleep sounds good too... we'll see.. how "energetic" I am after my shower and my walk with my dog.
hehe.. tired... really... stoned more like it. my brain's pretty dead. the high from packing my bags is like starting to dissipate. sitting here typing this entry, I feel this wave of tiredness...
Ah well... I'm leaving on a jet plane...
YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!
05 November 2004
Fustration...
Gosh...
I feel so fustrated...
I need someone to explain some concepts, to clear up some doubts. But there's nobody. Nor do I have the time to read up and understand them now.
I can only charge blindly on...
there
goes
my
A
Sighh... prays really hard. C'mon.. I hope to get a B. Really. Just B. I am really not asking for that much I hope.
B B B B B B B B B B B B B B
I feel so fustrated...
I need someone to explain some concepts, to clear up some doubts. But there's nobody. Nor do I have the time to read up and understand them now.
I can only charge blindly on...
there
goes
my
A
Sighh... prays really hard. C'mon.. I hope to get a B. Really. Just B. I am really not asking for that much I hope.
B B B B B B B B B B B B B B
Abnormal Amount of Blogs
Abnormal Amount of Blogs = Panic Mode
Yes.. I am panicking..
like mad....
Project due. TMR.
Status 1/4 done.
Do I know how to do it properly?
Actually no.
I am BIG on creativity.. on ideas...
but SMALL on actual pedagogy.
I am SMALL>>> Fuck..
i am sooo dead. and I have no printer.
I feel dead... really dead.
Can someone kill me? At least I can claim the insurance money and be of SOME use.
Yes.. I am panicking..
like mad....
Project due. TMR.
Status 1/4 done.
Do I know how to do it properly?
Actually no.
I am BIG on creativity.. on ideas...
but SMALL on actual pedagogy.
I am SMALL>>> Fuck..
i am sooo dead. and I have no printer.
I feel dead... really dead.
Can someone kill me? At least I can claim the insurance money and be of SOME use.
04 November 2004
I have to admit...
there is something wrong with me.
I like my coffee black.
and sugarless.
I don't know when I started having this affliction... it started with the coffee I have every morning. I got tired of always having to add sugar (read: EXTREME laziness at work here). Then it moved on to the coffee I consume outside of home. Kopitiam, ex-kopitiam, etc... it became "siu dai" (read: Less Sugar)...
But now.. sugared coffee... tastes sweet...
omigod... somebody save me... I am abnormal!!!! ahhh..................
I like my coffee black.
and sugarless.
I don't know when I started having this affliction... it started with the coffee I have every morning. I got tired of always having to add sugar (read: EXTREME laziness at work here). Then it moved on to the coffee I consume outside of home. Kopitiam, ex-kopitiam, etc... it became "siu dai" (read: Less Sugar)...
But now.. sugared coffee... tastes sweet...
omigod... somebody save me... I am abnormal!!!! ahhh..................
03 November 2004
Once Upon A Time...
Once upon a time, there lived Crow nth. She was born in a middle class family, fairly well to do. She never lacked for food, or items. Luxury items were affordable, but still, there was the mindset her mother had instilled into her, not to overspend, or over indulge.
She was brought up to believe in living by her moral values and to be ethical in her dealings. Naturally, as she grew older, and being a rather intelligent crow, she realised that moral and ethics were part of society's propaganda to control the baser instincts of crows. Or there would be genocide, and crows would cease to exist. So it was a rather good propaganda to abide by.
Now, being a smart crow, she decided that the tree that she was living in, was simply not enough. It could remain as homebase, but being a rather ambitious, she decided that, there was a reason why she had such a nice pair of wings. They were made for her to fly and soar in the sky.
So she left, with the blessings of her parents...
Flying off into the sky. As she caught on a good wind, and was soaring around, happy as can be, for birds were made to fly in the sky...
*BANG*....
she died...
Her parents didn't really realise that she never made it back home. for she was nth child they had, for all her intelligence and uniqueness... she was but crow nth.
She was brought up to believe in living by her moral values and to be ethical in her dealings. Naturally, as she grew older, and being a rather intelligent crow, she realised that moral and ethics were part of society's propaganda to control the baser instincts of crows. Or there would be genocide, and crows would cease to exist. So it was a rather good propaganda to abide by.
Now, being a smart crow, she decided that the tree that she was living in, was simply not enough. It could remain as homebase, but being a rather ambitious, she decided that, there was a reason why she had such a nice pair of wings. They were made for her to fly and soar in the sky.
So she left, with the blessings of her parents...
Flying off into the sky. As she caught on a good wind, and was soaring around, happy as can be, for birds were made to fly in the sky...
*BANG*....
she died...
Her parents didn't really realise that she never made it back home. for she was nth child they had, for all her intelligence and uniqueness... she was but crow nth.
LADIES & GENTLEMEN...
ENTRY NO. 125
All hail the Goddess of Blogging...
10 FAQs about the Goddess
FAQ 1: You know that my sleeping cycle is in trouble, when I am blogging at 4am in the morning and I am still quite alert.
FAQ2: I am a procrastinator and proud of it. I pride myself on being able to churn out work on time, quality work mind you... at the last minute.
FAQ3: I am currently unemployed... which is why I am so bored as to churn out this silly entry at 4am on a weeknight/morning.
FAQ4: I am a Kerry supporter, and no, I am no American. Simply cuz BUSH IS EVIL. Everybody, chant with me... BUSH IS EVIL...
FAQ5: I am also a loser, since the people that I have worked for owes me money and I am still not getting any. AND... I owe my family more money then I can repay in the next 2 years.
FAQ6: I am studying part-time, which explains why I am broke.
FAQ7: Besides my studies which are a drain on my finances, I am also very good at spending beyond my means. The laptop that I am typing my entry out on is a very good example.
FAQ8: I am addicted to crap idol dramas, manga, anime, gaming, arcade, reading, and a lot of things. I blame it on the fact that I am a Pisces. Which has no bearing whatsoever, but I think I read somewhere that Pisces have difficulties keeping up with all their interests.
FAQ9: I am narcissistic, as can be seen by the fact that this stupid FAQ is all about me. Not that I care, since this is MY blog. MUAHAHHAHA.
FAQ10: I love animals. ALL animals. And the reason why I am writing this stupid FAQ is becuz I have spent the whole of today writing an article on Top 10 FAQs for Dog Owners. And it was fun. It doesn't pay well, but heck.. my beloved Sapphi gets to have her face smacked all over a Dog Magazine. How cool is that? Special thanks goes to Winky the Shih Tzu who guest starred in that article too.
Zzz... you would think I would be sleepy by now.. but nope. At last count, it only took me 8 minutes to churn out this piece... while lying on my bed.. typing into my laptop, in a very uncomfortable position, which probably slowed down my typing speed.
Comics... understanding comics, creating a comic.. lemme just die... "feeling the stress level just go up by one notch.. this is really bad. I am starting to type without loking at the screen, I am just doing my blind tyuping. You tell me how many errors I have in this paragraph. I am not looking... really, I am not! hahaha.. Nites. all. "
PS. Not bad.. I only have SOME errors. I am getting too good at typing.. which means I am spending too much time in front of the screen. I need a life... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
All hail the Goddess of Blogging...
10 FAQs about the Goddess
FAQ 1: You know that my sleeping cycle is in trouble, when I am blogging at 4am in the morning and I am still quite alert.
FAQ2: I am a procrastinator and proud of it. I pride myself on being able to churn out work on time, quality work mind you... at the last minute.
FAQ3: I am currently unemployed... which is why I am so bored as to churn out this silly entry at 4am on a weeknight/morning.
FAQ4: I am a Kerry supporter, and no, I am no American. Simply cuz BUSH IS EVIL. Everybody, chant with me... BUSH IS EVIL...
FAQ5: I am also a loser, since the people that I have worked for owes me money and I am still not getting any. AND... I owe my family more money then I can repay in the next 2 years.
FAQ6: I am studying part-time, which explains why I am broke.
FAQ7: Besides my studies which are a drain on my finances, I am also very good at spending beyond my means. The laptop that I am typing my entry out on is a very good example.
FAQ8: I am addicted to crap idol dramas, manga, anime, gaming, arcade, reading, and a lot of things. I blame it on the fact that I am a Pisces. Which has no bearing whatsoever, but I think I read somewhere that Pisces have difficulties keeping up with all their interests.
FAQ9: I am narcissistic, as can be seen by the fact that this stupid FAQ is all about me. Not that I care, since this is MY blog. MUAHAHHAHA.
FAQ10: I love animals. ALL animals. And the reason why I am writing this stupid FAQ is becuz I have spent the whole of today writing an article on Top 10 FAQs for Dog Owners. And it was fun. It doesn't pay well, but heck.. my beloved Sapphi gets to have her face smacked all over a Dog Magazine. How cool is that? Special thanks goes to Winky the Shih Tzu who guest starred in that article too.
Zzz... you would think I would be sleepy by now.. but nope. At last count, it only took me 8 minutes to churn out this piece... while lying on my bed.. typing into my laptop, in a very uncomfortable position, which probably slowed down my typing speed.
Comics... understanding comics, creating a comic.. lemme just die... "feeling the stress level just go up by one notch.. this is really bad. I am starting to type without loking at the screen, I am just doing my blind tyuping. You tell me how many errors I have in this paragraph. I am not looking... really, I am not! hahaha.. Nites. all. "
PS. Not bad.. I only have SOME errors. I am getting too good at typing.. which means I am spending too much time in front of the screen. I need a life... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
01 November 2004
Entry no. 124
Yup.. can tell that I am running out of title headings right? actually, that's preempting entry no. 125. heheh.. which sounds like a nice round figure. alright.. am rushing things.. which is my own fault. am addicted to gaming. wahahha.. theme hospital!! wahahaha... I love that game. Everytime I start playing it, I get addicted.. Company still owes me money, and CPF. Just heard that CPF is suing (sueing?)them, and I have to go down this friday to listen to what CPF has to say. For those of you who don't know, CPF is like the equivalent of pension money, but it's handled by the govt. where they hold on to it till you die, and give you bits and pieces of it while you're alive. so your money is all locked up. wahahha... and you wonder why they say our govt's tyrannical. But.. I digress... Anyway.. theme hospital is GREAT! go get it. it's a pretty old game, so it's quite cheap. speaking of which, frozen throne, yes, just the expansion set is so freaking ex! It's like buying the warcraft cd all over again. when it's just the expansion set! Also, took up a freelance job. so... gotta hand it in by Saturday. before I fly off. beezee beezee beezee....
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