body clock.. messed up

I slept too much in the day. now at 3 am.. i am still feeling awake. reading thru some papers, guaranteed by my lecturer to make me fall asleep.. but i am still not sleepy. the papers just make me feel that they're stating crap. mebbe got one or two interesting points. but by and large.. nothing.. mebbe i am not reading it well enough.. ah well...

watching this concert.. i think organised by mtv.. its called feng sheng bang something ren. a lot of big acts. now's there is cool korean guy.. who can dance really well. think he's called rain. or mebbe that's the song title.. ah whatever. ok.. he just introduced himself as rain.. but the clothes he ear is a bit gay hahaha..

ah.. well.. it is like a repeat.. previously i saw pple like sun yanzi, 5566, taizhi, kone, the works lah.. even had avril lavigne.. a very good looking jap guy... dun know what he's called.. but he's of a legendary status.

went k-ing last nite.. wait.. i mean the nite before. super off form.. but still.. i got to sing VINDICATED.. or rather.. i hummed along.. and shouted during the chorus.. haha.. cuz it was an mtv.. and didn't provide helping words..

hehe.. gonna bug tata to dig out his music clinic free one lesson voucher.. then i can go!! shd be fun! and tata, nana said that best to go on wed/thurs/fri. heheeh.. quick go and dig out the voucher! hahaha.. me getting all excited about it.

was entertaining thoughts of joining the idol competition.. but on 2nd thought, esp after the super off form singing last tnite.. forget it lah. already prob no hope.. after yesterday.. lagi no hope. :D nvm... i have many other talents!!! like blogging..

darn.. getting more and more awake!!

decided to keep a book.. on my life's little lessons. decided to learn from them. like random thoughts that occur to me.. shall write them down. and I am using.. the WITCH notebook! or mebbe wil use the WINX one.. haha.. cuz i am gonna go get a copy of winx. speaking of which.. hey.. i can take a walk out to 7-11 to buy my copy. nah... me too lazy...

oh its xu hui xin now. she's really pretty. makes me feel like.. i shd go on my diet.. really... and start my exercising regime in all seriousness... yah rite.. that one is like... no hoper.. still.. mebbe will start on it..

feel old sometimes ... already 26... dun know what i have done with my life... do you think the realising of dreams is important? dreams can actually be categorised under two headings...

one - attainable ones

two - unattainable ones.

but logically speaking, there shouldn't be a division line. I mean.. dreams should be dreams right? e.g. I want to be a singer. But i know that is under the category of unattainable. Cuz, looks, talent, abilities, youth are like all important factors. and I prob possess none of them... or rather.. not to a large percentage. so who are those idiots who try to tell you.. strive and reach for your dream?

if you're ugly, then you're ugly... if you can't sing, no amt of lessons can save you. and even if it does, and you work really hard, there're so many others out there, who're more talented and pretty then you. with minimal time, they exceed the standards that you've attained. so.. is there really a point to persuing a dream that realisically speaking, you have no chance of attaining?

then there're the attainable ones. e.g i want to get my A1... so you study hard, then with enough effort, you can get it. So... you end up studying hard, getting a good job, trying to climb up higher.. because it is attainable. In the meantime, you give up on those unattainable dreams, because the satisfaction you get from having attained certain goals that you have set for yourself is reached. and you can no longer give up what is tried and tested and shows immediate rewards, to something that is unstable.

ah.. 330 liao.. oki.. back to my readings. (think: attainable goals. provided i dun screw up, which I am very prone to. cuz ... my enthusiasm for this has died down by a lot.) Borrrriiinnnnggg....