strike 4D, clear probation, go on leave...

and yes... in that order.

I want to strike 4D cuz, I am feeling broke.

I want to clear my probation, cuz my lady boss likes to hang that over my head, like some "power" she has over me.

I want to go on leave, cuz it's been a long time since I have felt so stressed and tired.

But as my friend is counselling me now, it will all pass in time. Once I get used to the work environment, work load, politics... I will be ok.

I think it's the politics that's really getting to me now. I know it exists, but... I have never had to deal with it. It makes me want to cry. Cuz I refuse to believe in the evilness of it all. I am not even very sure if I will end up becoming a bitch. and that I end up playing politics too... I may very well end up doing that... but at the same time, think I am still "pure" and condemn the people around me. Cuz, well, most people are blind to their faults.

On a lighter note:
nothing really running through my mind that is of a lighter note, but i guess I could squeeze some things out...

oh naruto's latest chapter is out. I bought it. But I was catching up on my fruits basket, and have not gotten around to reading it. But I will.... apparanetly, zuo zhu is very cool in this chapter. Ooohh.. interesting..

Having suffered from, and am suffering from recent migraine attacks, have you ever wondered why they're called migraines? Could it be cuz, they migrate? Cuz they do you know, from one part of the head to another... i think i just need more celery (apparently celery is good for nerves) and migraines are nervous system/nerves related... right?

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something just ran through my head: hence the section break.

Are you happy?
Did you have to think twice about that question? When this question popped into my head, as I was typing the blog, I wondered. Is it that difficult to be happy?

I mean, I am very happy about the little things in life. Like, when my colleague gave me her extra papadum (that fried cracker that comes with indian dishes, not sure if i spelled it right), or when I was playing with my new ipod shuffle, I was truly happy. But if you think back, it's fleeting.

Big happiness on the other hand, you have to work for. It's like setting yourself a goal. and when you have achieved it, the "high" you get, lasts longer. But then, you find that you have to set yourself an even more difficult goal, after that, so that, while pursuing that, you can deceive yourself into thinking, Yes, once I've attained that goal, I will be happy. But you always have to pursue something... and that's so tiring...

but at the same time, if you don't think about things like that... you can be happy all the time. Both friends I am chatting with now are telling me more or less that. When you wake up in the morning, you have a decision to make.
Am I going to be happy today, or am i going to be unhappy today.

(that is assuming that I am not late, and rushing to get to work... haha, then I may not have the time to even ask myself a question like that)

Oh... In April, I have decided to allocate some funds to buying cosmetics. wahahah!! I have designated my fashion consultant (yes I have one, and she's a part time model some more, dun play play) wahahaa...

so after april, I will start appearing on the streets with make up... so giving you guys prior warning.. don't be too stunned. wahahaha...