"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"
"If a scream is a silent scream, does it still count as a scream?"
I have come to a sudden realization (and of course it could my neurotic self or my hormones talking), that when I am really thinking of asking someone out for a drink at the last minute, or just to chill as the stress is really getting to me, the sad fact of the matter is that, I have no one to call. I have no one to just dial out to without the fear of getting rejected.
For someone who thinks she has quite a number of friends, I suddenly feel terribly alone.
I am not a good friend. I am not a good daughter. I am not a good sibling. I am actually not very good at anything. I say the wrong things all the time.
Sometimes I wonder why I am alone. At at times, I know why I am alone. This is because I am not good enough and not deserving enough for the people around me.
Some would call this a cry for help. And maybe it is, maybe it is not. I recognise that all these thoughts are of my own doing. I recognise that if you don't love yourself, no one will love you. I recognise that no one owes another person a living or are required to put you first. I recognise that there are many happier things to celebrate about.
But damn... all these recognising sure doesn't help my current depressed state. Why do I feel so alone? And yet I know... these are emotions that many have... loneliness is but a common affliction of humans.
It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.
Albert Einstein
2 comments:
*BIG HUG*
I'm a bit far, but hey, you can talk to me if you want! Of if you don't feel like talking, but don't want to feel alone, I can do all the talking too ^_^. You don't need to be good for anyone, and you definitively don't need to be good enough. Being normal or even bad is also fun. Have you read Anne of Green Gables? She made a hell lot of mistakes all the time and yet she was cheerful. ^_^ You are doing great, I assure you! Of all the blogs I've signed too, you are actually the only one I'm interested in, so keep up the fabulous work you are doing!
You may feel like you are sunken in darkness, but that's because maybe you don't see yourself, and you don't realize that you are a Star.
Cheer up! Lost of people love you all around the world!
I know this is really late and really delayed. But thank you so much for the support. You have no idea, just by leaving these messages, you have touched someone halfway round the world :D
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