Depression

What to say about a topic like this?
I realized that I have been sinking into depression and it's a slippery dark path. Where you end up asking yourself hypothetical questions for which there are no replies like "what is the meaning in life?", "What do I want to achieve and is what I want to achieve too superficial"... etc etc.

So... I have decided that I will take life by the horns... there is really no point in belabouring the point, or wondering if my boss is shitty... the truth is this. My boss is probably pretty decent. The job is pretty decent. The pay (all being said) is pretty decent. The organization is also pretty decent.

And so... if I am still unhappy, the fault probably lies with me. I am being dissatisfied with my lot in life. And I have been thinking... if I am this unhappy, rationalality doesn't quite play a part. I am working in a job, where I feel rather inapt most of the time. Within this inapt feeling, it would possibly end up with me feeling rather useless, leading to a lack of self-confidence.

So, with a boss (while decent), but whose personality is rather demanding and critical, I would suffer more. So, while I cannot blame her for me being miserable, I realize it doesn't really make sense for me to stay on. Well, technically, I can. What I can do is to adapt... but I have been adapting for the past nearing 2 years, and it's about time for me to consider alternatives. One can only adapt for so long...

So... the job hunt begins. Well, it will last till Nov/Dec.. of which, I would temporarily halt the hunt since bonus (assuming I get any) will come in April... so then I would stay on just to get that. Cuz I would be too close to leave... then after that.. the hunt will begin in earnest again. Life's like that right? Move on... Shuffle along... life will leave you by the curb if you don't move along with it.